The decision to arrive in this world is never the child's own, so why is there a constant refrain in our society about "the rights of parents"? In reality, the decision to bring a child into the world belongs to the parents, so it is the "rights of the child" that come first. And yet even the fulfillment of a child's legitimate rights is something we glamorize. We emphasize it strenuously. But how can giving someone what is owed to them be counted as a lofty virtue? It is that person's basic right. You created them by your own choice, so it is the parents' responsibility under all circumstances.
And when parents are unable to meet their children's needs, are they not committing the gravest injustice? Why did they bring into the world human beings as helpless and troubled as themselves, whose wishes, needs, food, favourite things to eat and drink, and toys they could not provide? Is this not cruelty? They bring them into a world of needs, then block their desires, and teach those innocent minds that this thing is wrong, or do not be stubborn about what you want, everything is not within our reach, we cannot do this for you. Their innocent wishes are strangled, because the parents are not capable of fulfilling them. In fact, more often than not they cannot even meet very ordinary and basic needs, so desires are out of the question. Then the question arises: why do they want to have children at all?
The Family Demands a Child, Then Looks Away
A further cruelty is that bringing children into the world is presented as a great achievement. The entire extended family remains preoccupied with the business of bringing them into existence. In the longing for a child, grandparents on both sides, relatives, and neighbours all keep up their taunts. Indeed, our tragedy is that in our society a marriage only becomes durable once a child is born. After that, no matter how much conflict two people live in, they will go on enduring a life of torment with each other because of the children. And those very same people who wanted a child from a married couple later do nothing for that innocent soul when they see the child suffering.
Everything Else in Life Is an Agreement
Think about it: despite all the heavy vocabulary of rights and duties, are we incapable of understanding that everything in this world operates through a contract? That is precisely why you use the two words together, rights alongside duties or responsibilities. For example, when you conduct a nikah, the marriage between a man and a woman is a contract, and within it the rights and duties of both people are settled. If you follow a religion, the arrangement there is much the same. If you take a job, it is settled between employee and employer how much work will be done and what salary or benefits will be received in exchange. It is a two-way contract. In business dealings too, both parties reach agreement on the terms, and only then is the deal struck. Even when you go to an ordinary shop for daily necessities and pick up something to eat or something you need, you have to pay a price in return.
But the only thing brought into this world purely by the will of the parents is a child, and in exchange for that you demand rights from them. Would that be justice?
Parents bring their children into the world without any contract, and the child's own wish plays no part in it.
In truth it is correct that obtaining a child's consent to enter life is impossible. Parents bring their children into the world without any contract, and the child's own wish plays no part in it. Call it the decree of nature if you like, I have no objection, but this web of nature keeps inflicting torment on both parents and children, and we know that life is very difficult and is being unveiled to us in stranger conditions by the day. Stress, worry, depression, living by the will of others rather than one's own desire, and then facing other problems such as accidents, natural disasters, boredom, mental and physical illness. Remember that a person not yet born has no interest in entering life for a little happiness and a great deal of boredom and pain. Desire only begins after birth. If this world truly is a test, then why the compulsion to sit such a test?
Who Repays Whom?
Suppose you did not achieve your own dreams, nor did you build any future for your children, and you failed badly. Then how do you demand of them that they fulfil their duties, and be happy like other people, or take pride in you? Before we speak of the rights of parents, might we consider whether it is even possible for parents to repay their debt to their children? Because the decision to have children was their one-sided decision. Just as every action in this world has consequences, it is fundamentally the children who pay the price of those consequences, because they themselves are the result of those actions. We live it every day. We have to bear the fallout of our forefathers' actions. We may not admit it, but a part of every human being within this existence holds their parents responsible for every sorrow and misfortune. It makes no difference how much you love them.
A Question That Will Not Leave Me
For centuries civilisations have come and ended, new civilisations are born, and where are we in all of it? We feel that we matter. We wonder who we are. We are born, we experience many things, we work, we perhaps earn a great deal of money, and then we grow old and die. So what is the real purpose of all this? In this life we hurt our relationships and are hurt by them. We commit crimes, we cause strife, we ourselves go hungry, we suffer pain, and we are also the ones who leave others hungry and add to their pain and suffering. Why do we want to have children? Why do we want to bring them into this strange world? This question troubles me a great deal.